


These Moments After

by BakerStTardis (Sokashi)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Post-BOFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5400311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokashi/pseuds/BakerStTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in Erebor when things start to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. These Moments After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jellyfax](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellyfax/gifts).



> Constructive criticism and beta remarks are not welcome, thank you.
> 
> This is a gift that was inspired by this wonderful post on tumblr http://technicallyweepingdreamer.tumblr.com/post/133573057051/howlingguardian-talk-fantasy-prosthetics-to?utm_medium=email&utm_source=html&utm_campaign=post_text
> 
> The good news/bad news is that this is just the beginning so more will be coming. A lot more. Even if you considered this the introduction then more is coming. But I tried to make this a complete piece so that if all you want is a short piece of sweet fluff fic this should satisfy you. If you want more, though, look at the short little bit in the second chapter. Its just a few sentences, really, but the writer in me wanted them here bad so I'm leaving it as an option for you.
> 
> So read the second chapter if you want a sad, sad cliff hanger. If you don't, then don't read it. I mean it.
> 
> Otherwise I hope you like this.

Winter clung to Erebor as its King clung to life inside it. Bilbo could feel it, as if the mountain itself moved with Thorin's labored breaths. He dug his toes into the damp, cold dirt and sniffed, lifting his chin as Gandalf spoke. 

"You won't change your mind, Bilbo? The dragon is gone, the mountain reclaimed. Your part in this is over." The wizard said kindly, his twinkly eyes steady and serious on him. Always seeing too much. "An escort could be hard to find in the coming months and I don't know when I'll be this way again."

Bilbo smiled and sniffed again, setting his jaw against his own doubts as he rocked on his heels a bit. "I'll be fine, Gandalf." He said with forced confidence. "I'd like to see them all back on their feet, that's all." 

The last bit was a lie, those two little words that were so dismissive, and from the eyebrow Gandalf raised at him he knew it. Bilbo cleared his throat and glanced away, determined not to blush and look as much as a love sick fool as he increasingly felt. Then he forced another smile up at Gandalf but the wizard didn't smile back. The aged face was soft and sad as he looked down at Bilbo, his voice gentle when he spoke.

"Do not linger in sadness, Bilbo, and forget to live." 

Bilbo froze and blinked, swallowing thickly before looking down at his own feet, toes clenched in the cold soil as if it could ground him. Only, he didn't know what to say- was it that obvious? Did everyone know? And was he truly expected to turn his back now, after everything, and just go back to the Shire? Something inside him clenched at the thought and Bilbo shook his head. "If you near the Shire drop in on Bag End for me, Gandalf. And- be safe." He said decisively and offered the wizard a gloved hand, meeting his eyes stubbornly.

Gandalf's twinkled back in the way that made Bilbo question what the wizard knew and how much of the conversation had been just a test. Then he was grasping Bilbo's hand warmly. "Goodbye Bilbo." He answered and the hobbit expected him to say something else but Gandalf only smiled again and clapped Bilbo on the shoulder before climbing onto his horse and riding away.

Bilbo watched him go, vanishing down the road that left the lands of Erebor and Dale before he turned back to the mountain, shaking the dirt of the road from his toes.

 

"Bilbo!" Kili's voice rang through the hall causing a few dwarves to turn and look but beyond a few respectful nods of recognition they didn't pause in their work. The mountain was filled with a mix of dwarves, some had stayed behind after Dain had left, some had come trickling in from other places all over middle earth. They were a loud but respectful mishmash of dwarves from all the tribes of the seven fathers who moved through Erebor rebuilding with a determined sort of reverence for the halls they walked. It made for a slightly uncomfortable environment, nothing like a home. Not yet. But the horror of the Battle of Five Armies lingered well after the funeral pyres were long gone.

"Bilbo!" Kili called again and skidded around a corner doing the sort of half skipping run he'd perfected since his injuries from the battle. 

Bilbo couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, relief filling him again at the evidence of the youngest Durin's survival. Not even twisting scars and the awkward use of a leg could slow Kili down. "Yes, Kili, I'm here." He said fondly. "What is it?"

Kili beamed. "Word just came on wing- our people have made it from the Blue Mountains. They'll be here any time!" 

His joy was infectious, washing Bilbo's worries away. "Your mother?" He asked and got an even broader grin.

"Head of the train and ready to be home!" Kili swept Bilbo up joyfully, Bilbo squeaking as his feet left the stone floor. "Oh, I can't wait for her to meet you, Bilbo!" Kili dropped him again before the hobbit could voice a protest and hauled an arm around his shoulders to lead him along.

"I'm excited to meet her, too." Bilbo said sincerely, leaning into the contact and just breathing a bit because Kili was alive and his mother would see him again and that had been so close to not being true- "Has Fili heard?"

Kili nodded. "He's in a meeting but he knows. Oin sent me for you." His face fell abruptly grave. "Thorin thinks he should meet them at the gates."

"At the gates-!" Bilbo said a bit breathlessly and picked up pace to head toward Thorin's rooms. "He's in no condition to do such a thing!"

Kili nodded, keeping up with a little hop on his longer legs. "He's not listening to any of us, doesn't want anyone to see him weak-" Bilbo snorted and Kili grinned. "Exactly what we all thought, too, but he listens to you. You can convince him to stay put."

"Convince him?" Bilbo echoed and scowled. "I'll tie him to the bed myself before I let the stubborn dwarf do such a thing!"

Kili laughed mischievously. "Ooh, can I be there when you tell him that? I'd love to see his face."

Bilbo rolled his eyes and took the staircase to the next floor. He could already hear Thorin bellowing, albeit with gasping breaths breaking up the words and rounded the door just in time to see Balin trying to fight to keep Thorin in bed without actually struggling with him or trying to stress Thorin's wounds. "Stop!" Bilbo snapped, annoyed, and stormed into the room. "Stop. Stop stop stop." He grumbled and glared at Thorin. It was either glare or stare. Thorin's dark hair was loose and wild around his head, longer now than it had been, and his chest was bare revealing the network of new skin still soft and tender over what had been deep cuts and a single huge, gaping wound. The sight of it, raw and fresh, still made Bilbo ache. Too many nights had he spent watching the wounds bleed and seep, watching Oin's face line with worry. Of sorrow hanging like the stink of wounds in the air of the room.

Despite that, Thorin's shoulders were broad and his skin, while still pale and sallow, covered what seemed to be acres of muscle. Bilbo swallowed and focused on Thorin's face. The face that eased into a smile at Bilbo's entrance. His face softened in that way that had won Bilbo's heart on the journey to Erebor and those blue eyes, still sharp despite his weakness, seemed to glow. "Bilbo, explain to them that I cannot lay here and miss greeting my people on their return from exile." His voice turned earnest. "I am their king. They need to see me."

Bilbo glanced first at Balin then at Oin. Both looked grim and reluctant. Thorin was still staring and it made Bilbo want to squirm. Instead he set his jaw. "Thorin, we only just got your wounds to stop bleeding. You can't go running off all over Erebor. Your people won't think you're weak. They know you're recovering from battle. They will respect that."

"Bilbo." Thorin said once, his face falling and somehow Bilbo knew that this wasn't about looking strong, about looking like a king. It was about being there to see his people in Erebor again. To watch them cross the gates and know they were home- that he's finally gotten them their home back. The moment Thorin had dreamed of for more years than Bilbo had lived.

Bilbo sighed and didn't miss Thorin's fond little victory grin. It should've been annoying, that, instead it was endearing and soft and made Bilbo's insides flip again. To counter it and maybe look a little less hopelessly in love than he felt, Bilbo frowned and pointed one finger at him. "You will do exactly as we say without argument."

Thorin's smile widened. "Yes, Bilbo." He said, sounding appropriately chastised but still looked smug.

Balin rolled his eyes, sharing a look with Oin that Bilbo didn't quite catch because Thorin started to move again. "No! Stop." Bilbo said, scurrying forward to put a hand to Thorin's shoulder. A mistake. The skin was warm and solid and made Bilbo swallow thickly. "Let us figure this out first. How best can we get you to the gates without you walking?"

"There's nothing wrong with my legs." Thorin said as if it was obvious.

"You can't walk all the way down there, Thorin." Bilbo argued.

Thorin hadn't walked much of anywhere since the battle. Across his suite of rooms, taking meetings in the front reception room, occasionally taking larger ones in a room just down the hall they'd cleaned just for that purpose. That was it, though. The dwarf scowled, looking stubborn, and Bilbo scowled right back. "No. What did we just agree? You do what we say." He turned to face the others. Oin and Balin were standing to one side with Kili standing at the foot of the bed grinning widely. The smile startled Bilbo for a second until Bilbo realized the young dwarf was staring at Bilbo's hand still resting on Thorin's bare shoulder. Bilbo blushed and quickly pulled away, clenching his hands behind his back as he tried to seem unaffected.

"So any ideas?" He asked sounding calmer than he felt.

Looking amused, Kili glanced towards Balin and Oin. "He could use my chair. I'm not sure where it ended up but we could find it."

Oin nodded reluctantly. "Aye, if he's going to do this it's probably the best option."

"We'll need to clear the ramps. They've been using them for repairs-" Balin muttered heading for the door, but paused to eye Thorin. "Promise us, laddie, that you'll be careful. None of us want to be patching you together again."

Thorin straightened, shoulders tightening to hide a wince the action caused. "I'm not looking to repeat the experience, either." He said grimly. Bilbo noticed it wasn't a promise, but it would have to do. They all knew how much of himself Thorin would give for his people, and it was always more than they liked. Balin dipped his chin in acceptance and left the room with Kili following quickly.

"And I need to get ready." Thorin said, accepting Oin's offer of a hand to help him sit up on the bed and swing his legs around off its edge.

Bilbo saw a glimpse of bare belly dusted with dark hair, smoothing towards hips that made him blush and turn away quickly. "I'll just!"He squeaked. "Be outside." He hurried away before either dwarf could respond. In the reception room Bilbo stopped, feeling awkward. His heart was beating too hard and he felt over warm, tugging uncomfortably on his coat and trying not to dwell too much on what he'd seen. "Honestly, they're just hip bones. Pull yourself together, Bilbo." He muttered to himself then jumped when someone rapped on the door.

A dwarf Bilbo didn't recognize peered inside a little briskly. "Is Oin here?" He asked. 

Bilbo knew he was blushing, unable to tell from the dwarf's heavily bearded face if he'd overheard Bilbo talking to himself. "Oh, yes." He moved back to the bedroom door but barely glanced inside. "Oin? There's someone here for you."

"There's been an accident a floor up, nothing major but there's some injuries. Balin sent me for you." The dwarf called into the room without waiting for an invitation. 

Oin appeared, bag in hand, beard rustling with annoyance. "All right, I'm coming." He looked at Bilbo and jerked his chin into the room. "Watch him for me, laddie." He said Bilbo and clapped him on the shoulder as he strode past.

Bilbo nodded quickly and cleared his throat. "Yes. Of-of course." He stammered but Oin was already gone. Bilbo looked after him a little wistfully before Thorin chuckled.

"Come in, Bilbo." Thorin was half dressed, trousers on and braids in his hair. His feet were bare and startlingly small to Bilbo who blushed at the sight of them, the hair on them dark but sparce, toes small and round. Bilbo looked away quickly and found Thorin watching him in amusement as he pulled the laces loose on a dark blue shirt. "I think we're beyond secrets, you and I." He said fondly and shook the shirt out briefly, movements slow and a little stiff.

Bilbo smiled but cleared his throat, aware he was blushing and trying futily to control it. "Even a king deserves privacy." He answered only to get a wave of dismissal from the dwarf. 

"I need none from you." Thorin said, his voice warm and fond. Bilbo looked at him in surprise and saw a matching smile, small and soft on the dwarf's bearded face. "Unless it makes you uncomfortable, of course." Thorin added gently and looked away with reluctance, moving stiffly to try to pull the shirt on. 

The cloth didn't cooperate and he scowled, trying to shake it out again, the sleeves twisted and tail trying to tuck into the collar. Bilbo blinked himself out of his surprise and moved forward to help. He tugged the cloth straight and helped Thorin pull it down to cover him. "I don't mind." Bilbo said and his heart pounded with hope again and again, thrumming through his body. Thorin looked at him, head level with Bilbo's which seemed more intimate somehow. 

Bilbo was definitely blushing again but forced himself to not look away. It was that look, the pleasure on Thorin's face like that day he'd shown Thorin the acorn he'd planned to take back to Bag End. So many bad things passed in those days and the days since but that look- Bilbo dreamed of that look still. He forced himself to stay steady, to not turn away this time and when his hands started to fall from straightening the shirt Thorin caught them both in his. Bilbo's heart leapt so hard it hurt and he looked down in awe. Thorin's hands were huge compared to his own. Not just larger but thicker and stronger. The skin felt as tough as leather, but smooth if a little dry. They were warm, though, warm in a way that made Bilbo only just realize his were cold. Thorin's fingers tightened around Bilbo's palms, the thumbs stroking gently, almost reverently. Without a word, Thorin lowered his head and Bilbo stared as the king kissed first one palm, then the other. Bilbo heard himself gasp, fingers spasming automatically, stroking the coarseness of the beard on Thorin's face. Thorin breathed out and it ghosted across Bilbo's skin before he cut his eyes up at the hobbit. The expression on Thorin's face was so open and raw that Bilbo struggled to breath. 

"Bilbo-" He said, his voice low and intimate. There was a clatter in the next room and the sound of Kili's laughter proceeding him. Thorin didn't move, eyes still on the hobbit, and Bilbo found himself smiling suddenly, chest tight. He turned his hands and squeezed Thorin's once before pulling away only to step close to help Thorin finish dressing.

"Your nephew has appalling timing." Bilbo cleared his throat once, aware his color was high again but unable to help it nor the smile he knew he was wearing. 

Thorin shook his head, face still open and almost awed as he watched Bilbo retrieve socks and boots from across the room. "It is I who has bad timing. Too many times I haven't spoken, Bilbo. Out of foolishness and fear and pride..." He shook his head, but his eyes never left the hobbit who blushed harder.

Pleased but amused, Bilbo shot Thorin a look. "I can't argue with that. And now is not exactly the time, either." He added quickly as Kili appeared at the door. 

Thorin rumbled a thoughtful noise, eyes speculative. "Later then." He said as if a decree. "But not too much later."

Bilbo rolled his eyes good naturedly as Kili stopped beside the bed eyes moving from one to the other of them with growing excitement. "What's later?" He asked with that mischievous curl that promised persistent teasing and nosiness was eminent.

"Nothing you mind." Bilbo said briskly and shoved the socks and boots at the younger dwarf. There was no way he could help Thorin with such an intimacy in company.

Kili's grin widened. "Did I interrupt?" He asked eagerly. "Because I can leave again for a bit. A while." He corrected. "Definitely a while."

"Kili." Thorin sighed but fondly, looking pleased but tired.

Bilbo turned away, trying to stop blushing and maybe get his heart to slow to a normal pace again. "Your mother will be here shortly, Kili." He reminded the young dwarf. "Now is not the time for your mischievousness."

Kili snorted and plopped onto the floor to buckle Thorin's boots. "She'll only help. You'll see."

"Mahal help me." Thorin grumbled but good naturedly then hissed with pain when he straightened. Bilbo and Kili both froze but Thorin shook his head, jaw clenched and humor faded. "It's nothing. Help me finish dressing."

 

Kili and Bilbo took only a few more minutes to finish helping Thorin. There was a brief argument about how many layers Thorin should wear. Thorin, who could be as vain as Bilbo about his clothes given the opportunity, finally admitted that his normal attire was too much strain and settled for just a thick surcoat over the shirt to ward off the chill at the gates. His face curled with distaste when Kili rolled the chair over for him but Kili warded off his arguments before they could be voiced. 

"There's no shame in using it, Uncle, remember? You told me that months ago when they were despairing over my leg." The tightness in the young dwarf's voice was the only hint of the pain of those first few months when nothing wanted to heal right and the weakness clung to him. After a moment Thorin nodded grimly and pushed himself slowly to his feet from the bed. Neither Kili nor Bilbo offered him aid, knowing it wouldn't be welcome. Thorin stood tall for a moment, looking every inch a king before pain flickered across his face and he set his jaw, taking a few slow steps towards them. 

The chair was wheeled, like the few Bilbo had seen in the Shire, only taller with more gears and wider wheels that Bilbo was used to. The handles used to push it were taller than Bilbo could easily use and the whole thing shined with polished brass and silver, padded with worn blue velvet. Kili had rolled around in it as if he'd been racing everything and everyone for a couple of weeks before Oin had allowed him crutches and then there'd been no stopping the young dwarf, damage or no. Thorin sat in it as if it were a throne, back straight and waving off Kili's offer of a blanket for his legs. Bilbo heard Thorin again arguing that his legs were fine and ached that Thorin was struggling with his health at all. Not now, when things were finally going right in every other way, but shook the dark thoughts away.

Kili was chattering excitedly as he wheeled Thorin out of his rooms, likely trying to distract Thorin from whatever dark thoughts that wanted to plague him. Bilbo started to fall into step behind them, but Thorin caught his hand in the hall and held it gently until Bilbo started walking beside him instead. Kili's voice had paused in surprise for a moment then carried on as if nothing had happened while Thorin and Bilbo each smiled.

 

Erebor was a maze of staircases and open floors leading one to another like a giant geometric puzzle that Bilbo hadn't quite grasped and honestly wasn't sure he ever would. What he'd missed before in those first dark weeks in Erebor were the ramps that similarly connected to every floor and all the rooms. They were cleverly built to be both functional and as much as part of Erebor's layout as the staircases most used. Kili had raced along them like lightning at times and the dwarves doing repairs on the main levels used them to haul stone and tools to various work places which was why Balin had left to make sure they were cleared for Thorin's use. Had Kili, or if Thorin had to continue to use the chair to get around, there would still be no part of Erebor kept from them. Their ancestors had seen to that in the basic construction of Erebor itself.

Some of Bilbo's thoughts must have shown on his face because Thorin gave a small, satisfied smile. "Dwarves are hardy creatures, Bilbo, but accidents happen even in our mines let alone in battle and we never willingly leave another behind. Durin the First's most prized adviser lost the use of both legs in his youth."

"Erebor never ceases to amaze me." Bilbo said with a smile.

"And dwarves?" Thorin asked teasingly.

Bilbo smiled, aware Kili was watching them with amusement and gave Thorin a shrug. "I've gotten used to you all at least. I expect the Shire will seem quiet after you lot." He's meant it as a joke, but Thorin's face darkened and the king looked away. Bilbo opened his mouth, flustered, wanting to say he hadn't meant he was going back and maybe to say that Gandalf had just spent the morning trying to convince him to go home and he's said no, but before he could figure out what to say Dwalin and Fili appeared out of a hall.

"Perfect timing." Fili said eagerly, moving automatically when Dwalin touched his elbow to guide him away from the open edge of the ramp they walked. 

Dwalin was Fili's guard most of the time these days, not just because Fili took as many of the meetings that ran Erebor as he could, especially those with elves or men, but because the damage to his right eye hadn't healed yet. He'd gotten his balance back and most of the time his depth perception was fine, but Oin had the damaged eye bandaged still and, like Kili, there was no stopping the young dwarf injury or not. More than once the company had pulled Fili from wandering too close to the edge of the stairs in his reckless haste until he admitted that having a guide until he healed or got used to its loss was best.

Scars cut across his face from the middle of his forehead to below his right ear but they'd healed well and were already fading to less startling colors. In fact, they'd barely be noticed if not for the the bandages and didn't even mar that smug grin he wore as he strode alongside them. "The last raven just came and the guards spotted our people on the road to the gates." He seemed oblivious to the sudden quiet he'd stepped into and honestly Bilbo couldn't blame him. After months on the road, battles and injury, he was getting to see his mother again. Fili glanced over at Bilbo and grinned widely, cheerfully. "I'm glad you're here with us, Bilbo."

"Yeah, maybe his presence with keep Dis from strangling us over getting you two injured." Dwalin sighed gustily. "That woman's a menace."

Fili laughed. "Watch it or we'll tell her you said that."

Dwalin's eyes narrowed even as he smiled. "Oh, she knows." He said darkly.

 

By the time they reached the gates a crowd had gathered. Not new dwarves, but the dwarves that had been helping rebuild the mountain were lined along the walls and halls, leaving open space for the newcomers to come in, but waiting. Expectant. The rest of the Company was there as well, even Oin, gathered at the front obviously waiting on them. It was unusually quiet and still for dwarves, everyone turning to see Thorin and the rest enter. Thorin raised a hand just inside and Kili stopped pushing the chair. Without a word Thorin stood, slowly but on his own, his legs steady even if his hands shook slightly. He straightened and even without sword or crown or anything to mark him but the braids he wore, Thorin looked King. Bilbo had the sudden desire to reach out and hold his hand again. To do something to make Thorin look at him, maybe smile again because while Bilbo never forgot the dwarf was a king, it was different like this; in the mountain, surrounded by his people. Bilbo suddenly felt very small and very alone and that moment earlier with Thorin seemed more like a dream than a promise. Maybe he'd misunderstood. Maybe he was seeing more than Thorin intended, maybe he should've left with Gandalf that morning. 

Bilbo clenched his hands into fists at his side, tucking cold fingers into the sleeves of his coat as he watched Thorin stride across the room towards the Company. Someone came and took the chair from Kili, pulling it out of the way so they could follow. Dwarves bowed as Thorin passed, serious but their faces bright with joy. Thorin nodded back solemnly, eyes meeting everyone he could. Fili and Kili walked beside him, grinning broadly, a touch of swagger. Bilbo hurried to move out of the way, trying to discreetly join the rest of the company, but Dwalin reached out and caught him without a word, shoving him to Thorin's other side. 

Thorin looked over at him and smiled, putting one hand on Bilbo's shoulder making Bilbo blush but he didn't pull away and stepped a bit closer when he felt Thorin lean a bit on him. He may not be sure he should be walking with the king in this moment, but he would be there for Thorin always. The Company parted to make room for them, grins and back patting all around, the quiet excitement that filled the room intensifying as everyone turned to face the open gates of Erebor. 

The gates were empty but the mountain held its breath. It hadn't even been this quiet with nothing but the dragon inside. Bilbo fought the urge to bounce on his toes. He could see Fili and Kili clutching hands, beaming so much with excitement that Bilbo marveled they were still in one place and not bouncing off the walls. A heartbeat. Two. Then Bilbo's ears twitched. "I hear them." He breathed out, throat tight with emotion. His voice sounded loud in the quiet but Thorin smiled down at him and tightened his grip on Bilbo's shoulder before stepping forward, taking him with him. Bilbo could feel the others following, not too close, but eagerly. He and Thorin stepped into winter sunlight and watched the colorful line of dwarves cresting the hill. A single dwarf on ponyback broke out of the front of the group and Thorin beamed. "Dis." He said with certainty. A certain kind of peace settling across his wide shoulders.

A noise moved through the crowd behind them but Bilbo couldn't turn to look. They all watched the line of dwarves draw close as they made the last lengths of road to Erebor. Until Bilbo could make out individual dwarves and the color of hair, the shapes of tattoos, until all that separated Erebor and the returning Dwarves was the bridge that led to Erebor's gates. There they stopped as Thorin moved forward, footsteps somehow loud on the stone bridge, Bilbo's footsteps silent as he walked with him, given no choice with Thorin's grip on his shoulder. It was tight and Thorin's hand shook whether from exhaustion or excitement Bilbo couldn't tell. Thorin stopped there, between his people and their home and every face Bilbo could see held wide grins, teary eyes, every hand shook with restraint as Thorin lifted his chin. 

"Durin's Folk!" His voice carried easily to every ear, every inch of the mountain. Thorin raised his free hand towards the mountain and when he smiled, grinned from ear to ear, tears fell uncaring. "Welcome home." He intoned, voice vibrant with emotion. "Welcome to Erebor!"

A roar rose up; deafening. It was like the noise of battle only this was cheer and some were chanting although Bilbo couldn't make out the words nor even tell if they were in Khudzul. Then there were bodies everywhere, family rushing to greet each other, friends finding friends who they'd hoped not lost to battle. The Company surrounded Bilbo and the Durins, carrying them along the bridge and out to the dead grass of the field beyond. Thorin didn't relinquish his hold on Bilbo and Bilbo tucked close, overwhelmed by the bodies all taller and broader than him. But there in that moment Bilbo realized what they'd done. 

He'd known he was helping the Company reclaim their homeland, had believed in that, and knew in an abstract way that there had been family waiting in the Blue Mountains for their victory or defeat. Only now he saw Bombour sweep up a small female dwarf before being buried, laughing, beneath a hoard of dwarf children. He heard Gloin bellowing the name Gimli and when he glanced over saw lots of red hair and hugging, tears falling freely from the older Dwarf's eyes. Then Kili yelled something in Khudzul and Thorin rocked, releasing Bilbo's shoulder for a moment to be swept into a family hug with Fili and Kili and a dwarf woman Bilbo assumed to be Dis.

It was, truly, beautiful. 

Bilbo wasn't usually overly sentimental, but this- if he could hold onto this moment and remember it in the days to come it would be worth almost any other pain. There was so much laughter and talking, a mixture of westeron and Khudzul, around him that Bilbo gave up trying to make anything out. Thorin pulled back then grinned broadly over at Bilbo, one hand reached out towards him. Bilbo blushed but took it, letting himself be tugged closer to the group.

Dis was a tall dwarf, taller than both her sons and possibly rivaling her brother's height. Her hair was as dark as Thorin's but without the grey that streaked the king's and her beard was full and long, longer than Thorin's. It was neatly trimmed and came to a somewhat mischievous point beneath her chin, unbraided but almost long enough to be. Her hair was braided into a crown on the top but hung loose along the back, a few beads blinked from inside the strands but she was without the other's decorative braids. She was cupping Fili's chin, tilting his face up to hers to reveal the most innocent and happy expression Bilbo had ever seen on the prince's face. "Are you trying to look like your grandfather?" She teased. "If so, you got the wrong side."

Fili grinned back. "I'm much more handsome than he was though." 

Dis laughed and kissed his cheek then the brow above his wounded eye. "How bad is it?" 

Fili shook his head and gave a little shrug. "Oin says it needs more time. We have that at least." 

"Yes, we do." Dis grinned back then let him go and nudged Kili but he answered before she could ask.

"I'm fine, ma." He said dismissively. "Run a little funny but as fast as ever." Not quite the truth, Bilbo knew, but Kili was determined and Bilbo didn't doubt him. She grinned and suddenly looked just like Kili, the same twinkle in his eyes, the same spark in his smile, and bussed a kiss to his forehead. It made Kili sigh and lean into her briefly, the look of his face full of surprised relief as if he hadn't realized until that moment how much he'd missed that. She squeezed him one last time then turned to Thorin. 

Brother and sister stared at each other and Bilbo suddenly wondered if they were as close as Fili and Kili, if their separation had been something hard but something that they'd had to get used to with their responsibilities. Dis smiled then her eyes moved up to the mountain behind him, turning full of awed joy. When she looked at Thorin again there were tears in her eyes. "You did it." She breathed and leaned down a bit to press her forehead to Thorin's, the affection and joy so pure it was almost painful to see. 

Thorin closed his eyes and pressed back, swaying against her a bit and Bilbo reached one had out to steady him, trying to be unobtrusive and feeling a little like he was invading their privacy. Yet Thorin leaned into the touch even as he shook his head a bit, rolling his forehead against Dis' in denial. "It wasn't me. It was the Company. They are good dwarves, loyal friends. I haven't accomplished anything. It was all them." He breathed out and the words almost sounded like a sob, a confession. Thorin twitched, as if surprised himself and drew back, blinking quickly as he took a shuddering breath, body hitching with pain. Dis looked at him sharply, in concern, but Thorin gave her a smile and ignored it. "Them and Bilbo. Especially Bilbo." He added.

"Definitely Bilbo." Fili added in agreement, the boys drawing close as if they couldn't stay away.

Bilbo blushed and shook his head, embarrassed at the attention as Dis straightened and looked down at him. Her eyes were harder, speculative as she sized him up. "So I've heard." She said mildly and took a step back, the better to see him. "So this is the hobbit." They were the echo of Thorin's words from all those months ago in Bag End. Even the tone was the same, mild and dismissive, prepared to deal with something she'd rather not. But Bilbo wasn't the same hobbit he was then; Gandalf was right about that. He lifted his chin at her and met those eyes. 

"Bilbo Baggins, at your service." He said proudly. Briefly he thought he should offer a respectful bow but he hadn't bowed to a king yet and he didn't think that this dwarf would appreciate it as anything more than her due. Besides, Thorin was starting to lean more heavily against him and he would not risk him taking a tumble in front of them all.

One dark brow rose at him and Bilbo thought Dis looked- amused- before she turned back to her family, "Well, let's see if we can't get everyone moved in before dusk." She said briskly.

"We've already got that taken care of." Balin said suddenly, appearing beside them. The smile he gave Dis was warm and pleased. 

"Balin." The warmth in Dis was back and suddenly the Company was a swarm of hugs and laughing around them. 

Thorin squeezed Bilbo's shoulder and smiled down at him, eyes shining. "Let's head inside." He said, his voice low and warm.

 

The mountain was full of sound. Fili held his breath in the empty hall that contained the royal quarters and listened, pressing one bare hand to the stone wall. It wasn't noise or voices, this was more like a thrum of noise, like when his uncle was humming in the next room. A warm, comforting, alive sound. He closed his eye and just listened, soaking it in. Erebor had been his dream because it had been his Uncle's, but he hadn't been born there. Home to him was where Kili was, wherever they ended up. Not even his Uncle or Mother who they'd had to get used to being without between traveling for work and taking care of their people. Yet this, in this moment only hours after their people had returned to fill it, the mountain suddenly felt like it could be home. A part of him that he hadn't known he was missing. 

"Fili." Kili stepped into his sight and looked bemused. 

"Do you feel it?" Fili asked, cocking his head to see his brother better.

Kili copied the movement, looking curious, then copied Fili's stance as well, facing the wall with one palm open on it. "Stone. Cold. Slightly damp." He reported. "What do you feel?"

Fili blinked and pulled back, shaking his head. "The mountain. Never mind. Fanciful thoughts. It's been a long, exciting day." 

"Yes." Kili said and grinned. "It's great to have mom here, but she doesn't seem to like Bilbo much. She's quizzing Balin and the others in there as if she expects to find all she's heard were tall tales."

Fili mirrored the grin. "She'll come around soon enough. Even if the stories of what he's done don't accomplish it, Bilbo himself will. He's got that talent." 

Kili snorted and the two brothers headed down the hall. "Uncle fell hard enough. Did you see them today?" He didn't wait for Fili's answer, but did a little skip ahead, grinning widely. "I think I interrupted something."

"Uncle kept reaching for Bilbo. Holding his hand, his shoulder." Fili agreed.

"It's about time." Kili groaned dramatically. "All the moon eyes and pining was getting tiresome."

Fili smirked and eyed his brother. "Yes, it is." He teased and nodded towards the gates. "Headed somewhere?" He asked knowingly.

Kili took a couple of more steps, always a touch slow up the upkeep, then half turned to shoot his brother a look. "Yes." He couldn't help smiling but his cheeks pinked with a blush. "Join me. The healer's finally released her to normal duties."

"And she came here first?" Fili taunted, falling into step with him. 

"It's not like she hasn't visited before." Kili pointed out dryly. "But she got her new arm today."

"Oh?" Fili looped his arm through his brother's to move more quickly through the more crowded halls. "I don't think I've ever seen an elvish replacement."

Kili hummed in response. "I tried asking what they used, but she started talking about healers magic and feeling the life in things and I kind lost track of the answer." He grinned over his shoulder at his brother. "So it'll be a surprsie."

 

Kili and Tauriel met fairly regularly in the plains that stretched from Erebor to Mirkwood. She could travel swifter than him and more easily leave her duties, especially since she'd been recovering from her battle wounds. Fili was admittedly still cautious about the elf. She seemed nice enough in a still, deer-on-alert kind of way that Fili didn't expect his brother to be attracted to, but the others dwarves of the Company sang her praises. 

During the battle Tauriel had found the Company in her desire to help Kili and the dwarves and fought with them when things had been the worst. Bofur had confided that she'd saved their lives, fought like part of the Company, and lost her right forearm in the process. It had been Oin and Gloin's quick actions that saved her and the tremulous truce between dwarves and elves had a solid foundation in the Company's belief in her. As for her and Kili, Fili bit back a smile as he watched the two spot each other. It still wasn't clear whether the relationship was romantic or an intense friendship yet. Time would tell. There was a certain mutual fascination to be sure and joy there in each other's presence. Fili sighed a little as they drew close. It would be a new obstacle, a new problem to face with their people inhabiting the mountain now, but they would face it together when the time came.

Tauriel smiled when they drew close. "Good evening, Kili. Fili." Her smile was easy, even with Fili and he returned it readily. Maybe not quite as warmly as his brother but Kili was nothing if he wasn't enthusiastic. 

"Tauriel! You're looking very well." Excitement and curiousity flushed Kili's face and Tauriel's face softened, looking fond.

"I feel much better. And come see." Tauriel dropped the reins to the horse she'd ridden in order to unlatch her cloak. She wore a modified version of her elvish guard wear, the top sleeveless now but buckled in place baring most of her shoulders and arms. Her left arm was muscled with a couple of still pink scars but her right ended just below the elbow where now piece of dark wood was somehow attached as if growing from the stump, fresh little branches forming the impression of fingers on the end. Fili followed his brother closer, fascinated, to see the roots of the wood were winding up her arm and across her shoulder, effectively attaching it to her, as if growing across her skin. It was captivating, initially almost off putting before Tauriel smiled. "It comes off, it's not feeding off me or anything." She said gently.

"Can I touch it?" Kili asked respectfully.

Tauriel laughed and nodded. "Of course." Her eyes were cautiously happy as she watched Kili reach out and touch the fresh bark, blunt fingers making the wood look delicate. "It's Night Laurel." She said and when Kili cocked his head curiously she explained. "The healers can use different woods and plants, in theory, but it doesn't aways take and it requires a lot of skill from the healer. They tried maple first but it was...disagreeable. " She said delicately and it made Fili wonder how much pain was involved in the whole process. "The healers were going to try oak next-" Kili laughed out loud and her face pinked a bit with pleasure. "Yes the irony was not lost on me...nor on King Thranduil." She added delicately. "He insisted on the Night Laurel's use. It is a more delicate plant to try this with but if it takes, it is a far better one."

Kili lifted his chin. "Good. He said firmly. "You deserve the best."

Something in Tauriel's eyes softened at the words, as if she'd been cautious about mentioning the elven king. "He also used his own magic to help it take. It was...kind of him."

Kili cast a glance at Fili who smiled back but resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of the elven King. Thranduil had not come to Erebor since after the battle. It seemed best for now to use intermediaries between him and Thorin although both seemed chastised if not contrite about at least some of their actions. 

This time Fili was the one who spoke. "I'm glad he was able to help." He allowed himself to step close and touch one woody finger. "Can you feel it?" It felt like any tree branch. Fresh and maybe a little green, but otherwise unremarkable. 

Tauriel shook her head. "Not really. Pressure, sort of. I can tell you're touching, that's it. But-" She added, sounding a little excited. "If it takes well I should be able to control it. Sometimes by will, sometimes with certain words that have a bit of power."

Fili grinned. "That's excellent!" And the smile she gave him was almost a touch bashful this time before they moved to Kili again, as if she could hardly look away.

Kili had drawn his hand back but was grinning at her openly. "Our dwarvish replacements are metal and stone and gems but worked together into gears and such." He shook his head. "You don't see many of them anymore. Too costly and too much work."

"Another benefit to regaining your home, I think." Tauriel said with a smile as she moved to settle on the ground with them. "So we saw your people have come. Is your mother well?" She still spoke oddly formal to them, even after all these months and Fili would have thought it was just how elves spoke, as the few he'd met tended to as well, only Thranduil had spoke as fluidly and causally as anyone else. When he wasn't cursing at them in Sindarin.

"Oh she's great." Kili said enthusiastically. "Settling in. We left her discussing things with Balin."

"I am glad they made it. That you have reclaimed your home." Tauriel said, looking thoughtful. "The dragon is gone, the mountain reclaimed, and they are building Dale again. I hope that the Greenwood will have such a recovery."

Something about her tone stilled something inside Fili. He straightened and eyed her. "It is not yet spring, there is still time." Although Mirkwood had been green enough before, overgrown and dark. He wasn't sure what the winter months would have done to it, but Gandalf had implied that not much changed in Mirkwood, not since it started to alter from the Greenwood it had been.

There was something cautious in Tauriel before she spoke. "There is something else, I think. A...darkness."

"Here?" Kili asked somehow managing to sound both believing and unconcerned. 

Tauriel did what Fili assumed the elven equivalent of a shrug was. "I cannot tell. Here. Or coming."

"Or going." Fili said. "If you can't tell then it could be leaving. It could be the dragon's influence waning." 

Tauriel allowed the fact with a brief nod, but didn't look convinced. Fili and Kili shared a look of shared worry but silently agreed to discuss it later before settling in to talk about more pleasant things with the visiting elf.

 

The sun was setting when Tauriel stood, flexing her new arm with a faint flicker of pain. "We kept you too long." Kili said with concern. "Stay here. I'll fetch your horse."

"I appreciate it, Kili. I am a little sore." She gave a thankful dip of her chin then touched Fili's sleeve, making him pause when he'd moved to follow his brother. "I just wanted to thank you." Tauriel said to Fili, her voice low. "For-" She glanced towards Kili who grinned at them, unconcerned about them talking together. Tauriel wanted to say more, Fili could see it in her face, but she also didn't need to. 

Fili knew it would have been easy to keep Kili away, easy to discourage him from seeing her. Maybe even understandable to a point. Certainly each of their people would want it. He stared up at Tauriel, studying her face before he gave her a tiny smile. "What we went through," He took a deep breath, pushing back the memories that wanted to surface. Fighting battles, even during the quest for the mountain, had been necessity. Sometimes even fun. They were born warriors, all of them. The Battle of Five Armies had been different. More. Worse. Shocking. Terrifying. "What we went through was hard." Fili continued. "And it would be easy to condemn others for things that came before." He met her eyes and let himself speak his heart, to share what he was struggling with himself. "These moments after, though, they are what should define us. The deeds we do, the friends we make, the love we find. Wherever it is." Fili took a deep breath and pushed down the lump of emotion in his chest, looking over at his brother who was talking animatedly to the horse as he drew close. "No, I would not keep any two apart who found each other. Whether love or friendship, elves or dwarves, hobbits or men." He shook his head. "Together we all have more to live for, don't you think?" He looked up at Tauriel again, smiling a little and found a look on her face he couldn't read. She blinked a coupled of times then seemed to swallow thickly.

"You are wise beyond your forebearers, Fili Durin-son." She said, the words heavy and solemn. "And one day you will make a great king."

Fili grinned cheekily at that. "Won't I? Spouting wisdom all over the mountain, watching Bilbo and Thorin totter around each other in their never-ending dance?

Tauriel laughed out loud, the seriousness ebbing away. "They are a sight, aren't they? If it continues much longer maybe we'll have to make a plan." She suddenly looked so young and mischievous that Fili laughed, too, taking her arm solicitously to help her onto the horse Kili held. This, this is what Kili saw in her. Fili thought. The youth that had been worn away by darkness, the starlight that tried to shine through.

"I look forward to it." Fili said and was only a little surprised to find it was the absolute truth.

 

Bilbo couldn't sleep.

He'd watched Thorin with his people for hours. Until the trembling in the dwarf king's hands couldn't be hidden and the weakness in his body made him sit heavily into the chair again. Then he'd watched Thorin press on, smiling with his people, greeting them by name, his eyes shining with a soft awed joy that rivaled the look he'd given Erebor itself. It made Bilbo wonder what Thorin was like before taking on their venture. Maybe now he could ask. Maybe now he and Thorin could have time to learn these things about one another. The thought made Bilbo grin secretly in the darkness of his room feeling foolish and a bit giddy and much younger than his years.

Thorin and his timing, though. Weeks of quiet and nothing then suddenly- Bilbo's grin widened. His palms tingled, remembering the soft scrape of beard, the strong fingers, the press of warm lips to them. He wanted it again. He wanted more. Only Thorin had retired early, looking exhausted and drained after all the excitement and Bilbo couldn't blame him. He'd been tired, too. Drained with the rush of emotion and the worry that lingered there in his gut. The touch of doubt. Things needed to be said and there was time. Time for it all. Yet Bilbo couldn't sleep.

He twisted in his bedclothes for a bit, got up to untangle them and tried again. Thorin's rooms were just down the hall. Bilbo rolled over and stared at nothing. Remembered another night, long ago when he was curled into bed and tempted by a low voice in the next room. A song that had stirred him and brought him so much farther than Bag End. 

He could go to Thorin. Not disturb him, no, but make sure he was okay. Be there when he woke. It wasn't the first or third or dozenth time that Bilbo had sat by the dwarf's bedside through the night. Surely now, after everything, it would be all right?

Bilbo didn't pause to debate it. He stood and grabbed his jacket, still over sized and worn, but warm against the night chill and snuck to Thorin's rooms. There was no one in the halls, although he could hear voices and laughter nearby, and no one to stop him from opening the door, his hands shaking the tiniest bit. He found Thorin half sat up in bed and breathing hard with the effort of it. The dwarf smiled at the sight of Bilbo, though, unsurprised and just so open it made Bilbo ache. "I should have known you'd find me first. You always do."

Bilbo stepped close and Thorin moved for him, making space for Bilbo beside him but Bilbo hovered at the edge of the bed, wanting to touch, too much to say. "You should be resting." He sort of blurted with a scowl.

Thorin shook his head, looking amused, his braids swinging in the semi darkness of the firelight. He was shirtless again and Bilbo made an effort not to stare. "I'd rather see you. Speak to you." His voice was a low rumble.

Bilbo quirked a smile, shuffling a bit. "I should argue but I am the one who just snuck in here." Thorin grinned and snagged one of Bilbo's wrists, urging him onto the bed. Bilbo stumbled then huffed with amusement shoving himself upright only to find himself facing Thorin, closer than they'd been in months, since before the battle. Bilbo's smile fell and he could hardly breath while Thorin stared, eyes deep and dizzying.

"Bilbo." The dwarf breathed and his name was an ache, a benediction, as he pressed his forehead to Bilbo's, eyes held. It was more intimate than the hug they'd shared on the Carrock. than the talks they'd shared in the dark, than the way Thorin had held his hands hours before. "I love you." Thorin said plainly, rawly. Bilbo sucked in a breath, feeling dizzy. "I love you and I'd like to court you, if you're amiable."

Bilbo huffed out a laugh, his forehead rolling gently against Thorin's with the movement. "Weeks and weeks of nothing, Thorin, and now this..." He teased.

Thorin grinned back. "Do you need more romance, Bilbo?"

"Oddly, no. Not in this moment." Bilbo said with a soft sigh and lifted one hand to brush Thorin's hair back. To touch, finally touch. The moment was taffy, strong and thick, sticky with emotion. "Thorin-" Saying it- could he? Now? It was ridiculous that suddenly Bilbo was debating this with himself. 

Thorin smiled at him, soft and smirking. "Bilbo, you love me. I know it. And if you can forgive me after-"

"I did. I do." Bilbo interrupted. "And we're not discussing it again." He said firmly then dashed forward to kiss Thorin suddenly, hard. Thorin laughed against him and it felt wonderful, as good as the kiss itself. "I'm trying to kiss you, you know." Bilbo said as he pulled back, feigning annoyance.

Thorin chuckled, eyes moving over Bilbo's face like a caress. "It won't be easy. I'm not-"

"I know exactly what you are. And I do think I've seen your worse, thank you very much." Bilbo scowled. "Now kiss."

Thorin obliged, chuckling against Bilbo, hands curving around Bilbo's waist. "And I am a dwarf, not a hobbit." Thorin added, pulling back a bit.

Bilbo scowled. "I HAD noticed." He said then saw the real worry in Thorin's eyes before tugging on the dwarf's hair. "We'll court each other. Find our own ways." He said firmly and dug his fingers into the braids because he was afraid to hold on, to hurt him. "I love you, Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin Durin-Son, Thorin King of Erebor." 

Thorin's eyes had widened at the words then closed as if he was in pain and pressed his forehead to Bilbo's again. "Bilbo." He breathed again, but Bilbo kissed him before anything else could be said and just held him close until they finally fell asleep.


	2. Coming Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really don't read this if you want to end on the happy note from the last chapter. I really, really mean it. It's also just a few sentences.

Oin looked around the room of dwarves and Fili's heart thumped. He glanced at the closed door of Thorin's bedroom and it wasn't teasing joy that filled him when he realized the Bilbo was the only other one missing. He glanced over at Kili but his brother looked oblivious. Keeping his worries close to his heart, he watched Oin grumble to himself, catching everyone's attention. The room full of dwarves fell unusually quiet and attentive. 

When the older dwarf spoke it was serious and almost soft despite his deafness. "Thorin is with Bilbo telling him what I am going to tell all of you now." There was an eternity of a pause and Fili suddenly couldn't swallow past it as Oin took a deep breath.

"Thorin is dying."

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so really really don't read on if you don't want sad. Seriously.


End file.
